Sure, there's a base, drunken, lonely desperate side of me that will always want to go to one. But once I get inside I'm always feeling the same way: bored. I know that these girls are there to make money. They don't want to give me a private dance to get to know me better. They know it's 20 bucks for 5 minutes of work.
I'm always really interested in the clientele. Who the fuck are these people? Why does that dude have a random patch of hair growing out of the side of his face? Who is that random single girl at the bar? Why do all of these dudes wear their hats backwards? I love that kind of shit. Dissecting strangers in my brain. Breaking them up into social groups based on their dress and behaviors.
I also like knowing people that work at these places. I much prefer talking to the manager or the bouncer than I do watching some girl making her ass jiggle on stage for a few dollar bills. Maybe I'll learn something from them, which won't happen watching someones cheeks shake.
I've always felt awkward in strip clubs. Which might be weird considering all of the strippers and assorted club workers I've known in the last 12 years. I've held their hands as they got their nipples pierced, and picked out their best pic to advertise things, and sold their kids comics, and listened to stories of creepy pervos, and god knows what else. I should be acclimated and used to seeing naked girls dancing on a stage. But nope. Doesn't ever happen. Sure, I know they're naked for a reason, but I still feel like I'm a creep for looking at their giners, regardless of whether I'm throwing dollar bills at them or not. Maybe its because I'm not their target demographic. Sure, I might be lonely, desperate, and sad. But I know I can't buy my way into someones vagina.